Gabe shows up around 3am. I felt a presence and woke up. There he was poking me with a stick. "Clay. Wake up. Clay. Wake up." Kind of annoying but whatever.
I definitely knew who he was, he has a sick reel, I figured I was probably about to be part of it. Couldn't imagine whatever it was he was about to tell me, my ears prepared to hear religious history in the making. Now here's the big letdown. He never said anything epic. Like at all. He just kept asking lame questions. "Whatcha doooin'?" "Oooh, is that a Les Paul? Kuh play it?" "Have you seen 'Mulaney'? I love it." Then he looked through my Spotify and kept saying artists' names out loud followed by "NICE." "Rolling Stones, NICE." "Nine Inch Nails, NICE." The worst.
After a while I didn't care how famous he was or how much money he had, I just wanted him to leave so I could sleep. Then he freaking sat on my bed and made me watch all these dumb YouTube humor videos. On my iPad. I had to unlock it so he could show me videos I didn't even want to watch. That's hard. After ~5 videos he gets all butt hurt that I'm not laughing at any, I figure "yay we're done," then he doubles down. "Oh wait. I got one. I got one." Then more. After a while he gets all pouty-self-servy "My bad dude, I'll let you sleep, thought your guitar was hella dope, thought maybe I could play a quick lick on it, that's all man, my bad dude, I'll let you sleep, I didn't know you were sleeping." A Christmas miracle! I'm a downer bad guy and he's a gracious hero. What's next, insist I go to your holiday party I get there not on the list you won't answer your phone they have to find you finally do you act all huffy-annoyed-too-cool about it. He finally left but
I knew he was going to do a pop-back. "Hey man, sorry, seeing if I left my Chapstick. Mind if I turn on this lamp real quick? Aw thanks man. Thanks. I'll be real fast." Right yeah your pop-back's already lasted 2 minutes. He finds his stupid Chapstick, looks at me all giddy "Found it!" I guess I'm supposed to say "Awesome yeah!" or I'm mean.
He finally left for good but I couldn't go back to sleep, the whole thing was so aggravating. Just because you act all cool nice good guy doesn't mean you aren't being a clown. I chewed on that thought for a while, helplessly tossing and turning, feeling there should be some sort of awareness of this, whereas now there pretty much isn't, you can get away with whatever as long as you act oblivious to jerkery and do sad dog face and throw everything under [charitable act]. Sucks when you meet famous people and they turn out to be lame.
Well one funny thing was hearing him try to start his apparently really crappy truck outside to leave. It was just funny he drove, on top of that his truck sounded like it'd been smoking for 60 years.
Ok goodnight.
